So do you guys want to see pictures of my ovaries, uterus, and Fallopian tubes? Of course you do!
Aren't they lovely?
I don't have a scanner so you have to just deal with my makeshift picture of a picture. Have any idea what you're looking at? Neither do I. Basically in the lower left, the jelly-like stuff is my blood bleeding and the next picture over is the ruptured tube. All of the other pictures are probably important to...probably...

Now don't you all feel like you know me so much better? Sheesh, you should feel lucky, normally I would let you buy me dinner before getting this intimate with you.

But in all seriousness, I can't believe how much of a roller coaster even these past 4 days have been. Today has been the worst by far because we came home and settled which means I had time to think. That's bad. I've spent 80% of my day crying and feeling so fragile. If I were to go to the store and a dog was to look at me the wrong way, I would snap. Then other times, like now, I feel okay. The emotional and physical pain is always there but I'm in a good enough mood to perhaps crack a smile.

I have no idea how I am supposed to finish school. There are only two weeks left so I am obviously going to do everything I can to finish but my teachers should be prepared for me to randomly start bawling. Oh don't mind me in my sweats and no makeup, I'm just trying to see if I can physically cry my eyes out. I just hope they like me enough to go easy on me.

I don't want this to turn into a sappy-sad blog of depression but that's what I feel like now but I won't always. But for now, my back hurts, I have the worst cramps ever, my eyes burn, and I feel like I have pulled 3 all-nighters in a row. I promise my next post will be about something positive and funny because sometimes, you've just gotta laugh to get through.


Sylvia said...

Oh Jessica...you deserve to cry and cry hard! You have been through heck the past week and my heart just aches for you! I can't believe you are even attempting to think about school after all you have been through! You are amazing and strong and I count my blessings everyday that Tyler found you and we have you in our family! Please take care...and go ahead and cry some more! I love you and am here for you!
Love ya, Mom B

Erin Anderson said...

I am so sorry about your loss and all you have been through in such a short amount of time. I am glad that they were able to catch the bleeding and hope that you heal emotionaly and physically

Jenna said...

Hugs, Jessicauah!