Cleverful Life: My Interview With A 2-Year Old

My little stinker is two now. In honor of his 2nd birthday, I interviewed Jack-Jack. A tell all, so to speak, of his eventful day.

Runnin' In Circles: With a day dedicated all to yourself, you must be very excited.

Jack: Oh I'm really happy, but I'm planning on taking on the day with class. It was a hard decision but in the end, I decided to whine & throw fits for most of the day, not take a nap, and then be grumpy until bedtime.

RIC: A classy approach... Let's discuss the presents. I've heard from a reliable source that your parents went to 5 different stores to try and find a good deal, only to realize that it was inevitable; they were forced to buy full price.

J: As they should! A birthday present on sale?! If my playgroup would have found out, I would have been bullied endlessly and probably had a few toys thrown at my head!

In the end, it was a pretty cool toy, even for a full priced one, but I only played with it for a few minutes before moving on to the balloons. I liked the 99 cent balloons more.

* Long pause with a few eye twitches from RIC *

RIC: You are known for going to see the animals at the local pet store often. Tell me about the surprise of visiting there.

J: It's one of my all-time favorite spots. I can never be sure that we are actually going so I always ask at least 50 times to see "amols" (animals). That's the key: to ask at least 50x. Parents can forget so easily so I always make sure to remind them. What would they do without me?

Yes, the animal store was amazing, as usual. It's always relaxing to run from display to display because no matter what, my parents just follow me! It's amazing, really! It was a win-win for both of us because I love to run away from my parents where pedo-men could kidnap me and my parents love to chase me all over the store. It's a fun game!

*Exasperated sigh from RIC*

RIC: Tell be about what happened then.

J: I got a goldfish! I liked when they put the fish in the baggie. It was fun to squish and rattle the bag. I don't know why my parents kept on freaking out and saying The Dreaded Word (no). It wasn't like I was going to kill the fish!

RIC: But...the fish died. Didn't it?

J: Purely circumstantial.

* Awkward pause. *

RIC: I seemed to have forgotten to address the birthday breakfast. How was that?

J: We went to IHOP. Some might argue that I get cranky and whiny when I'm hungry but those are all just spiteful rumors. I don't think it's unreasonable for my parents to produce the exact food I want at any given moment. After all, what else do they have to do? So at the beginning, when the server forgot about us altogether and we waited for 2 days (more like 30 minutes) for our food, it was a bit touchy.

However, I'm a reasonable person. I entertained myself with sugar substitute packets and daddy's hot chocolate cream. I also made sure to try the cream with every single spoon on the table, just to be sure I liked it.

RIC: Yes, I remember...I was there. Well, thank you for taking time for this interview. I know how you would have rather watched Yo Gabba Gabba or Barney.

J: Can I have mac n' cheese now?

RIC: Well, it's 9:00 AM but why not?